April 28, 2004
When the Lights Go Out
So last night we had a huge storm, trees were falling, power was flickering, and then it finally happened. We lost the lights. And that's that. Where Jennifer and I live, the power goes out at least once a month. I don't know how many times we've had to go to the store to replace spoiled food.
It is not uncommon for us to spend an entire day without power. When Jennifer and I came back from Spring Break, the clocks were all blinking. Was the power out for a minute? An hour? A day? How should we know. Most of the food didn't make us too sick.
If you discount the expensive replacement of nearly everything in the refrigerator, and those couple days we had to sleep by the fireplace to avoid freezing to death, blackouts are pretty cool. Jennifer disagrees.
I think this is because of our differing backgrounds. Jennifer comes from a small town, whereas I come from the big city. Life without lights is amazing and fascinating to me. I get really excited when the blackout is so big that you can actually see the night sky.
Jennifer doesn't appreciate the idea of total darkness, because she's used to it. It's never dark here. Especially on cloudy nights, the sky reflects a constant orange. Light pollution is literally non-existent in parts of Norcal. The night sky there is absolutely amazing. (I'll try to put some pictures of the orange glow on the next 512.)
So when the lights go out, I get excited, and I want to go out and enjoy the darkness. I think it's cool! Jennifer just thinks it's creepy.
The other thing about losing power is you don't realize how much you need it. We can't cook. We can't see. We only have our own wit and humor to entertain ourselves. Lots of babies are conceived during power outages, because people don't have anything better to do. (Maybe also because their spouse looks a lot better when they can't see them. By the way, I'm pretty sure the baby/blackout ratio is just a urban legend.)
Seriously though, maybe instead of sitting around waiting for the power to come on, we should make the most of it; spend time with our friends and family, get to know them better. Sometimes we can live with someone and still know nothing about them. Even worse, sometimes we're married to them!
Next time the power goes out, ask questions, tell a story, have fun with someone special. Why not? You've got nothing better to do! Keep talking and you might not notice the power return!
Posted by March at 12:00 PM | TrackBack
April 27, 2004
Storm (and Tree) Hits MarchDecember
A major storm hit Western Washington today, bringing hail, lightning, rain, a tornado AND a funnel cloud. Thousands are without power. Like usual, we're one of them. Here's a little excitement brought to us by mother nature.
Posted by March at 12:00 PM | TrackBack
April 26, 2004
Lies, Darn Lies, and Statistics
Now that our unofficial "TV Week" is over, I guess we can discuss other, more important, topics. Lately, I've heard a lot of crazy things. Last week, I overheard someone describing a secret draft that George Bush is formulating. This spring, everyone 18-26 will be up for grabs as the military needs more manpower for the purposes of war.
My first instinct was to try to correct the misunderstanding. Recent talk of a draft has come from Democrats (and now one Republican) who want all of us to have more invested (and more to lose) when our nation goes to war. I assumed what I heard was simply a twisting of the facts.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how naive my thinking was. This draft rumor wasn't a mistake. It was malicious. It's designed to get people to dislike Bush, and of course to vote for the alternative. It has no basis in truth, but what does that matter?
Lying works because in general people have very short-term memories. But it also only works among the gullible, the ignorant, and the innocent. Sometimes, the innocent grow up and become the intelligent, and that leaves them with a bad taste in their mouth regarding you, the liar. The gullible and ignorant will never see the light, but that just makes you a con artist, and worse yet, with a supporting base of idiots.
If lying is the method by which people are trying to elect John Kerry, his candidacy will be a devastating failure. Still, I can't entirely blame them. Kerry himself was the wrong candidate for the Democrats, who should have elected John Edwards. John Edwards could have won in November. He was an honest (at least by politician standards), down-to-earth guy who had genuine appeal. Heck, my WIFE loved him and she's the gun owner in the family!
Kerry, by comparison, appeals to virtually nobody. His base is made up of people who hate Bush, people who are lifelong or hardcore Democrats, and thanks to the strategy described above, total idiots. Is this really the kind of people you want in your camp? For one, they make the candidate look bad, and two, they're much more likely to accidentally vote for Pat Buchanan.
Back in 1996, I volunteered for a campaign that never had a chance too. Democrats, I feel for you.
Posted by March at 12:00 PM | TrackBack
April 21, 2004
Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Your Creativity is Totally Spent
I guess it's TV Week on marchdecember, because while others are spending the week avoiding the boob tube, we seem to be writing about it. First came Jennifer's commentary on Extreme Makeover / The Swan, then she brought down judgment on Rocco "Anti-Trump" DiSpirito and his mediocre business savvy.
Meanwhile, I've been meaning to speak up about a television show of my own. That we have three columns in a row discussing what's on TV is purely coincidence, but I see no reason to discontinue the trend. Might as well make it TV Theme Week on marchdecember.
I love watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent. It comes on Sunday nights on NBC, and stars Vincent D'Onofrio as Detective Robert Goren, the most intelligent and amazing detective in the world. Goren and his partner (sidekick?) spend each week trying to figure out whodunit, usually without a shred of evidence.
Unlike other Law & Order fans, I don't enjoy watching the show for it's compelling writing, brilliant acting, or even to find out who was guilty in the end. I watch it because it's one of the most ridiculous, impossible, and unoriginal shows on television today.
Each episode starts with an unsolved crime. Nothing new here. Where "CI" really shines is in it's lead characters ability to figure out who did it and why. Goren manages to find guilt in the most implausable ways. Is the criminal a police officer? He uses his extensive knowledge of police procedures to deduce the perpetrator. Okay, that makes sense. Is he a lover of architecture? No problem. Detective Goren knows all about it. One recent episode saw the murderer draw suspicion because of the style of windows in their house. Goren knows absolutely everything about everything.
Armed with the thinnest of circumstancial evidence, the CI duo go in to confront the suspect. Goren then angers and intimidates the suspect, often in public, often playing them against friends or family. Finally, in emotional distress, the suspect confesses the crime to those around him, incriminating himself in the process.
Suddenly the police show up (for no apparent reason) and haul him away, leaving Mr. Goren with a humorous or enlightening ending quip.
This is the model for every single show. Unlike other Law & Orders, we never see the cases go to trial, possibly because Detective Goren's investigative techniques would never hold up in court. To use a real example from a couple weeks ago: the judge would say "So, let me get this straight, the accused confessed the crime to you, but you were at the time threatening him with a large lead pipe?"
"That's right your honor."
"And you were wildly swinging the lead pipe at his head?"
"Yes, your honor."
"Case dismissed."
This is to say nothing about Goren's (or is it D'Onofrio's) odd physical mannerisms, in which he wiggles around like a 35 year old Beavis who forgot his Ritalin. Come to think of it, if that raving lunatic entered my house with a lead pipe, I'd confess too, before he lost all motor control and inadvertently killed me.
Despite being one of the most repetitive, redundant shows on television today, Law & Order: CI is still better than a lot of reality television, and certainly better than any programming on UPN. If you've got an hour to waste next Sunday evening, go ahead and have a laugh by watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
Posted by March at 12:00 PM | TrackBack
April 20, 2004
Rocco, You Sucko (Up The Money That Is)
Michael and I watched the first season of NBC’s The Restaurant when it aired. So when the second season premiere aired last night, we decided to tune in. It had been advertised for a few weeks as a fight between Rocco and his evil investor/co-owner of Rocco’s 22nd Street, so it looked exciting enough.
After watching last night’s episode, I have no respect for Rocco, and instead of supporting Rocco against his “evil” financer who wants to “take” the restaurant, I have ended up supporting Jeffrey Chodorow, the co-owner and financer of the restaurant.
Frankly, I’m baffled how he can even be portrayed as the bad guy. Here’s a guy who has put up millions of dollars for Rocco’s vision. He’s given him months to get the restaurant up and running. He’s invested his own money and let Rocco basically run everything up until now. And Rocco, being more interested in schmoozing with his fans and signing his book for women he can flirt with, has ended up with a restaurant that is always busy, always full, yet always in the red when it comes to profits. All this Jeffrey guy wants is to have a restaurant THAT MAKES MONEY! What’s so wrong with that?
It sounds like Jeffrey has been very tolerant of Rocco thus far. Much more tolerant than I would be. Ordering 5000 business cards for $9000? Demanding he get paid a salary, despite the fact that he doesn’t do anything? Responding to all of Jeffrey’s concerns with “no comment”? You know, Jeffrey actually came to him to discuss what they could do to turn the restaurant’s profit around. He didn’t just barge in and take over the restaurant. He actually went to Rocco and had what sounded like an extremely frustrating time getting no response.
I respect Rocco’s passion for food. I love watching him cook (when he did that one time…) and I respect his vision for his restaurant. I can even understand why he would resent someone coming in and taking over. But if he didn’t want it to come to that, why all the blatantly irresponsible choices? Why didn’t he engage Jeffrey in an actual conversation? Why doesn’t he attempt to work with Jeffrey to actually make a successful restaurant?
Sorry, but I have no sympathy for a guy who is more interested in cashing in on his celebrity that he doesn’t even care he’s wasting other people’s time and money for no apparent reason other than he’s being arrogant and stubborn. Make your restaurant profitable, Rocco, make your staff happy with you, actually put some real work into it, instead of having your 79 year old mother run things, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll deserve to run Rocco’s on 22nd Street.
Posted by December at 12:00 PM | TrackBack
April 18, 2004
Silicone Boob Tube
I’m getting really fed up with shows like Extreme Makeover and The Swan. Yeah, it was shocking and exciting, or whatever, when these types of shows first came out, but the more I watched, the more I began to question the things they chose to makeover.
I understand fixing your teeth when they’re growing out the side of your mouth. I even support some of the less dramatic cosmetic surgery, such as reducing eye bags, hair implants for men who are balding, and the occasional lip augmentation. Plus, the work out routine they put the people on is always a plus.
But the fact that every woman I’ve seen on the show ends up getting breast implants is appalling. And it doesn’t seem to matter what her age, cup-size, or shape is. She’ll leave the show with breast implants.
The only message I get from this is that somehow natural breasts are an imperfection and plastic goo filled bubbles are somehow superior to the natural curves of a woman. And frankly, I find it offensive.
I’ve talked to Michael about this many times. The images that I grew up with, from celebrities on television to magazines, are that of woman who have had breast implants. I’d like to say that I have so much confidence in myself that I never questioned my own natural body, but that’s just not true. When you grow up bombarded by an ideal that can only be achieved by going under the knife, you do feel inadequate and compare at some point in your life.
Shows like this rub me the wrong way for that very reason. There’s nothing wrong with natural breasts, no matter what size they are. Impossibly perky cantalope sized breasts aren’t natural and shouldn’t be any girls ideal, even if society insists on perpetuating the myth that this is what women should strive to look like.
And that may be someone’s definition of beauty. But not this girls.
P.S. The people on Extreme Makeover would look a hundred times better if they put effort into their looks. What really makes the difference at the end of the show isn’t all the plastic surgery. It’s the fact that someone has styled their hair, done their makeup, motivated them to work out and tone up or lose weight, and picked out nice clothes. And I fully support the idea of bettering yourself in your looks and your life through natural means. Heck, I boil water and add some nice herbs for a face sauna a few times a week, and I’m guilty of owning way too many face lotions and body lotions, but little things like that do wonders not only for your looks, but also for your self esteem.
Posted by December at 12:00 PM | TrackBack
April 15, 2004
The Devil You Know
I realized, late yesterday, that I had done my taxes incorrectly. Fortunately, I was able to correct the problem in time, print out new tax forms, and write a check for the whole $6 I ended up owing the IRS. All that because I had forgotten to account for advertising revenues from a website I haven't actively run in over a year.
But a lot of people are getting great refunds this year, thanks to the current administration's tax cuts. This can't be a good day for John Kerry, as millions of Americans are reminded what they've gotten under a Bush administration. Of course, this doesn't matter if you have lost your job.
Kerry seems to me to be in trouble either way. At heart, he's not appealing. He's not appealing to Democrats, who made the mistake of nominating someone they thought someone else would vote for, instead of somebody who THEY would vote for. And he's not appealing to mainstream voters, because he doesn't offer them anything other than an alternative to Bush.
Despite the fact that Kerry is claimed to be one of the most liberal Senators in office, he's running on a much more mainstream platform, much of which contradicts what he has stood for in the past. The real question is, which is he... a liberal running as a moderate, or a moderate who got elected as a liberal? Either way, Democrats didn't nominate him because they agreed with him, and that is likely to be their ultimate undoing in this election year.
To make matters worse, Democrats are presenting Kerry as an alternative to President Bush, not an alternative to Bush's policies. Kerry does a lot of criticizing of the current administration, but he rarely backs up that criticism with an alternative plan. He says he'll create 10 million jobs, but how? And as some pundits have pointed out, there are only 8.5 million unemployed Americans. Who will take up the other 1.5 million jobs? Maybe we can outsource them.
But the reason Kerry isn't connecting with voters the way he ought to is because Democrats are too self-consumed with hatred toward Bush. They don't seem to recognize that the majority of Americans not only don't hate Bush, but actually like him. With polls showing the two candidates in a dead heat, it comes down to those few undecideds, and virtually none of those undecideds hate Bush, or else they'd already have sided with John Kerry. Still, liberals are out in droves supporting Kerry, with the primary reason being "we need to get George Bush out of office."
That kind of talk isn't going to work. If Kerry doesn't present a defined vision for America, or worse, he presents one that is not markedly different from Bush, voters will pull the lever for Bush. Taxes are low. The economy is looking up. We've defended this country against further terrorist attacks. Trying to get voters to vote against Bush is a mistake. When voters pull that lever, it will be for the devil they know.
Posted by March at 12:00 PM | TrackBack
April 14, 2004
What's the Deal with This Site
What's the deal with marchdecember? That's what a lot of people aren't asking us, possibly because we are a virtually unknown right now, and more possibly because the current users could care less.
But given that we've had the site up for a good month now, it's probably time to explain our mission.
The internet is a fantastic invention. It has changed our lives in a very measurable way. E-mail and Instant Messaging have given us the ability to communicate with anyone, anywhere, at anytime. Search engines have opened up a wealth of information on endless subjects, some of which you never knew you were interested in.
And the type of people using the internet is diverse. Activists use it to rally behind their favorite cause or candidate. Mothers keep in touch with college students. College students download and discover new music. News junkies have an always-on, nearly instant source of breaking news.
The internet has changed the way we work and play. Left without internet access after a recent move, we found ourselves in withdrawal every time we had a question that needed to be answered. Woe is he without access to Google.
But the ease of use and anonymity which makes the internet so wonderful comes at a price. There’s no need to be embarrassed when you are doing searches for that itchy rash on Google. But there’s also no need to be embarrassed when you’re looking up information on bestiality.
As useful as the internet can be, it can also be a destructive force in our lives. It enables emotional affairs, feeds our addictions, and blurs the line between right and wrong. It can break up marriages, place people into debt, and scam even the most street smart among us. It amplifies the very worst of human nature. It is morally bankrupt, a society void of anything worthwhile to contribute.
We want marchdecember to be everything the internet isn’t. Some people are going to love this. I honestly think this has the potential to be something big. Some people are going to hate it. Maybe you’re one of those people. If so, sorry, and goodbye. People who don't belong here... well, they don't belong here.
This site is going to be entertaining, interesting, and thought-provoking. Hopefully, that won’t surprise anyone. But we want it to be more than that. We want it to become life-changing. As we provide more content, we think this site will be able to do that. Jennifer is really excited, and I know I am too. I hope you will be as well.
Posted by March at 12:00 PM
April 10, 2004
Baseball Season is Here
Today, I'm very excited that baseball is back. I love baseball, partially because it's the only sport where you can obsess about statistics and actually gain respect from other fans. This year has really been a surprise so far. You can always depend on a few teams to be at the bottom of the barrel, but this season they're leading their divisions! The Detroit Tigers haved out 0-4! (Given that they e started out 4-0. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are 3-2. Meanwhile, the always dependable Seattle Mariners have starthave never made it to the World Series despite consistently winning more than nearly any other team, maybe this is a good thing for them.)
I used to play a lot of Fantasy Baseball, but then I met Jennifer. When we first started dating, we couldn't bear to say goodbye, and we spent three weeks straight together. By the time she went home to California, my fantasy baseball team (the Diablos) had fallen to last place. The year before, I'd gone from last place to first, by using an unorthodox team roster that proved a winning combination. I figured I could do the same in 2002, but I was wrong.
Playing really good fantasy baseball is far too time consuming unless you're a lonely man without a girlfriend. Now that I'm married, I can't even imagine trying to keep up with the adjustments needed to stay competitive. Some guys will set up a lineup and just let it run for the season, but that's no fun at all.
I'm thinking a much better idea, especially for married guys who have the expertise, would be fantasy marriage. Imagine, you could draft your own team of married guys, and then you'd win or lose depending on their own statistics. For example, someone might draft Michael Kent, and if I took my wife shopping, or wrote her a poem or something, they would get points for that week. On the other hand, if I managed to inadvertently infer that my wife was fat, they would actually lose points. (I already got in trouble for this sentence.)
I would suggest nobody draft me.
I know now that I'm married, I don't have as much time for baseball in general. I want to continue to make my wife feel appreciated, which translates to paying attention to her instead of Barry Bonds. For guys who really like baseball, but have to balance their wishes with their significant other, try bringing her to the ballpark. Jennifer and I went to a Mariners game about a week into our relationship, and we had a great time. The ballpark can be a really romantic place. It's like a dinner and a play, except dinner consists of hot dogs and watered down Pepsi, and the only play you'll likely see is a double play.
This is also one of the few dates you can go on that would be remotely interesting for guys, as well as enjoyable for the women too. She'll go to see the latest Terminator movie with you, but it's only because she wants you to take her to a chick flick in return. (Yeah, because you always take me to chick flicks, right? -- Jennifer) Play it right, and a date at the ballpark can be something she actually looks forward to!
Posted by March at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)